Saturday, September 09, 2006

hallo. loads and loads of food for thought today. more like buffet for thought.

shall blog cus last night was dead tired by the time i got home. shall start studying today. realised that i needlessly freaked myself out thinking that the chem test was in 3 days time instead of 10. haha. merseyside derby. let the red prevail over the blue! and i m playing soccer with hong yi, matthew, xiang the everyone else later. heh. fun fun fun.

anyway. was just thinking abit after last night. its like, if i was asked to take a personal look at myself. i think that relative to my good frens around me, john, julie, jared my cousins, samantha and amanda, i guess i still have loads of growing up to do. but den now as i plunge into the world of council, somehow or rather, i feel that tables have sort of turned. its like for me, i m not really constant, i have my mature moments, and of cos the other side. more often den not, a certain side would rule over the other at a certain part of a day. but i still feel that, suddenly, i m in a world of people that are just like me. and looking at them, is somewhat like looking at myself sometimes. really wanna thank God for putting me here. i just feel so strongly i m gonna grow loads, the same way Joseph grew loads when the plunged into the world of Egypt.

but yesterday. tok kok session. truly there were problems solved. but i believe that there were many left unsolved, unresolved and even unsaid. and thats the really sad part for me. and unsolved and unresolved? why. i guess it all goes down to three things, pride, stubbornness and forgiveness. i guess when u forgive 100 percent, u forget 100 percent. most people [me included] cant handle the former, let alone the latter. and the reasons they cant handle the former and the latter is simply cus they refuse to let go. they keep telling themselves, why should i be the one to give in first, why should i even give in the first place. and i believe that its something a person has to look into him or herself, realise and make a decision to change. unsaid, i guess they really need to make a choice, ur problems in u are just like bubbles in a newly made acrylic piece, sure, it seems like a huge risk to use a stick to bring the bubbles to the surface, it is delicate process, but unless u do that, the piece will never be as beautiful as it can be. same way, u have to stick and dig into urself, take out all bubbles of anger, bitterness, resentment, bring them to the surface, let then all go, before u can become the truly beautiful person u ought to be.

and we being human, tend to be so judgmental at times. no ones excluded. the first time we see someone, its only natural to form that impression based on the exterior, not really face value, but what the person portrays. but u know i was fiddling with photoshop this morning, and it i was thinking, if i wanted to change the colour of my words, i would have to do a layer (for example) black over it. and i guess that links with wad i m gonna say next. often, we like to get stuck in, stick our head straight into the situation, cus of that, we narrow our line of sight, we dun see the big picture anymore. its just us pressing our faces onto a picture, thats made of so many pixels, so many parts. we narrow down to the part of the picture thats black, and it will lead us to conclude, that this picture is black, dark, boring, plain. but if we step back, we see all the aspects of the picture, truly den can we form an impression, or at least a more credible one. we have to understand, humans are somewhat like photoshop workpieces. they have layers, and if a coloured layer was formed on top of a font, u wouldnt be able to see what the original was, unless u remove the layer. but it takes action, takes intiative, the layers are gonna stay there forever unless u remove them. the same way ur not gonna see a person's true inner layers, till u make an effort to go beyond the surface. often, wad we think, wad impressions we form, are so clouded by wad we see at the 'small picture', wad we see that masks the inside. we have to remember that while we see things in 2D, we live in a 3D world, there is another side to everything.

next i guess its love in a sense. heh. for me. been there done that. but we just have to realise that being rejected isnt the end of the world. its all part and parcel of life. being rejected doesnt mean we shun the person hu rejected us. its natural to feel hurt. but the bottomline, life goes on, the earth isnt gonna stop its orbit just cus ur feeling crap. pull urself together dude. we were meant to live for so much more. of cos, being in one enhances ur life so much more in some sense but theres loads of other things in life too. thats something i learnt over the last few weeks. and i was talking to this fren of mine, sounded abit down and out, trust me dude, ur not the first guy to get rejected, neither will u be the last, for all u know, she just doesnt want a relationship now.

yup. so i was talking to this guy and i was like trying to cheer him up. and i was like, hey u die alone but at least when ur dead, u ll see us all in heaven soon. and den he was like i dun believe in heaven, den jokingly i said, erm, den u ll see us all in hell. den he was like i dun believe in hell either. den i was puzzled, so i was like, so wad do u believe in then, he was like dimensional progression, which means u just move from 3D to 4D and stuff like that. but den again, i was thinking, wad happens to ur memories, wad happens to ur current life. i always tot of the last lives thingy as quite dumb. honestly, i mean like, the god of people hu believe in past lives must be quite cruel, to put u in relationships with people u love for 70 odd years, change it again and again over the next 10 lifetimes, and u just forget about them all as u move on and den after it all u end up as a crockroach. cant be right, our lives are meaningful, our lives have purpose, they arent something we simply erase and move to the next from. its not a game. i mean like, if this earth was truly the great place it was made to be, shouldnt there be a more logical, a more genuine order??? and that is why i believe in heaven.

anyway. yesterday was listening to this 'if we are the body' by casting crowns, den i just felt like the world paused for 2 seconds and the lyrics just jumped out on me. 'if we are the body'. and den i felt the meaning in a whole new way. its like i used to think it was abit of sarcasm. like 'if we are the body, why arent his arms reaching, why arent this hands healing, why arent his feet going'. i used to think the song meant was like if God loves us, why isnt He doing anything, and up to the end till the part where 'Jesus in the way', i tot it was for us to realise that all we had to do was to trust in Him, to acknowledge that and everything would be ok.

but yesterday. it was different. i was like thinking, if we are the body, we would be the body of Christ. and its like, wad are we doing as a body? as the body of Christ, we are supposed to spread His love, but yet, wad are we really doing, that His arms, hands, feet are not moving. that we no longer impacting people, what we all became stagnant. wad type of a body are we?? that 'Jesus paid much too high a price, for us to pick and choose who should come.' that he sacrificed so much that we could be saved, yet as the body, supposingly like Jesus to get more people saved, are we putting others off, are we losing it. and i guess we really need to remember that like the song said, 'Jesus is the way.' not just the way to salvation, but the way we need to emulate to bring others to salvation.

For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ.
-1 Corinthians 12:12

For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another. Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, let us prophesy in proportion to our faith; or ministry, let us use it in our ministering; he who teaches, in teaching; he who exhorts, in exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.
-Romans 12:4-8

r we acting like wad christians shud, like who God wants us to be. its up to us to think about..

|cowpoo| 9:25 AM|

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